10 Geek Pickup Lines I’d Love To Hear

“Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn’t leave something that can be traced back to you.” -Unknown

I’m a geek. I’m rather proud to be a geek, in fact…I did it long before The Big Bang Theory made it cool. Just about all my crushes have been geek boys, dork boys, and socially awkward boys (file under Cameron Frye, Willy Wonka, Joxer the Mighty, H.M. Murdock, and now, Wikus van de Merwe.)

"No, I don't fokkin' look like Steve Carell!"


So, as a single geek girl, obviously I’m looking for a single geek guy. Instead of doing cheesy personal ads or hanging out at eHarmony hoping someone will “wink” or “nudge” or otherwise virtually engage me, I compiled a list of geek pickup lines that *would* work on me. You can laugh all you want, but these things are more romantic to me than champagne and chocolate.

#1. “There aren’t enough scoundrels in your life.”

Admittedly, Han is more the classic rogue/scoundrel type, but he’s a LOT of geek girls’ fantasy guy. Plus, any guy who can quote the Star Wars Trilogy earns brownie points in our book.

#2. “If I were Gollum, you’d be my preciousssss.”

Another tried-and-true geek staple. This one is sorta stalker-ish and creepy, but the right guy could pull it off.

#3. “You must have survived Avada Kedavra , because you’re drop-dead gorgeous.”

Guys are somewhat scarce in the Potterverse. If you find one, make sure he’s not a lycan first, and hang onto him.

#4. “According to Newton, if I hit on you, you must hit on me.”

Gotta love a guy who knows his classical physics. Or any kind of physics, for that matter.

#5. “I know there’s already 14 of them, but YOU are my Final Fantasy.”

Kinda borderline, and I’ve never really gone for gamer guys, but somehow this one works.

#6. Any discussion that begins with the question “What’s your favorite generation of Star Trek?” or “Who’s your favorite incarnation of Doctor Who?”

If you are a geek, you just understand this. It’s like normal people watching Survivor or Dancing with the Stars. Really.

#7. An invitation to a Renaissance Faire, LARP, Dagorhir, or other re-enactment event.

There’s just something about geeks where we like to dress up like people who died 500 years ago, replicate their speech, and beat one another senseless with period weapons. I always thought of this as geek foreplay (you will get hot and sweaty swinging a halberd, trust me.)

#8. “Don’t worry…I always carry pocket protection.”

Because even geeks like to play it safe.

#9. Any variant of “Hey, baby, what’s your sign?” in Klingon, Sindarin, Old English, Esperanto, or Gaelic.

Geeks are indeed cunning linguists…and you thought we were all a bunch of dorky prudes.

#10. My current favorite…

“Hello, it’s the sweetie man coming.”

If you’ve seen D9, you’ll get this. If not…what the hell are you waiting for?

Swietie Man's gonna getcha, getcha, getcha...

Dedicated to all my geek and dork friends who are still waiting for the one, or, to be more formal, The One. May you all find what you’re looking for, be it man, woman, or android.

Got comments (or better, know a nerd?) Write me at wikusandmurdock@yahoo.com!

~ by Howlin' Mad Heather on November 6, 2010.

2 Responses to “10 Geek Pickup Lines I’d Love To Hear”

  1. Love #4, that would totally work on me too 🙂

  2. OhmyGod, this is hilarious! 😀 I’m pretty damn sure I’d fall for the sweeite man line haha. And the Han Solo one…yes. Very interesting post!! haha. You’re so dang funny lol!
    ~Hilts. 😛

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abandonen toda esperanza aquellos que entren aqui


You - philosophical, thoughtful, witty. Me - still thinks fart jokes are funny. We should DEFINITELY get together!

her name was cassandra

and she was a shining star

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