When Wikus Met Tania: My Quest for a Geek Guy


“You know, socks are like sex. Tons of it about, but I never seem to get any.” ~Prince George, Blackadder the Third

“I would never have any kind of pornographic activity with a fokkin’ creature!” ~Wikus van de Merwe, District 9

Sunset in Jo'burg

This blog is starting to evolve into two kinds of posts. The completely random ones, usually after I’ve worked all day and/or am really bored, and the ones that dig a little deeper and allow a glimpse into what I’m really thinking. Today’s is one of the latter (but I still want to make it funny, so stick with me.)

My idea of a Triple Play

I’m at that age (no, I’m not going to tell you unless you already know) when most of my friends are either married, about to get married, divorced, separated, divorced again. In any case, they’re not single. What am I feeling through all this? For one thing, I’ve bought a hell of a lot of bridal shower and baby shower gifts, and served as an attendant in several weddings. Since I have Asperger’s, the *idea* of getting married and/or having kids isn’t really that socially important to me. Better to be single than in a miserable marriage or with kids you don’t want, I say.

Nevertheless, I’m starting to look in the mirror and see someone who will be [age deleted] in a set amount of years. And daunting as it may seem, I’d like to at least try the dating waters before I get to that age.

How long has it been since I’ve dated? 2005. A lot has happened since then, and I feel I’ve changed.

The trouble is not the availability of guys. The trouble is my own selectivity. Unlike most other women, I don’t value looks or wealth or social status as the main factors of attraction. What I do are qualities such as intelligence, self-reliance, a libertarian streak, and the ability to rationally discuss anything from quantum physics to whose turn it is to take out the trash. Looks fade…a sense of humor stays forever, as someone very wise once said.

Of course, there’s the flip side of the coin. What do I have to offer my potential geeky suitor? Well, for starters, I’m not materialistic like many women in today’s culture. I’m just as happy with thrift store chic as designer clothes, I’m not into jewelry, and never was much for flowers. On the other hand, if a guy were to make an obscure movie prop by hand, or write me a short story, I’d be totally flattered. The old saying that it’s the little things in life really is true for me.

I may never be that (Photoshopped) vision of perfection seen in magazines, but I stay in shape and refuse to smoke or get tattoos. I’m not going to make dogs run away in terror from my visage, so I suppose I’m reasonably attractive. I’ve even been told I appear younger than my true age…which I’m still not going to tell you. In short, I’m happy with who I am and what I look like, and I don’t judge others based on outward appearance.

Over the years I’ve tried many avenues to find “the One.” I’ve done the online dating scene, Craigslist, been blind-dated by well-meaning friends, even flirted a bit at conventions and other geeky gatherings. No luck yet. I understand that while I may be a bit of a tough fit, there is a lid for every pot, as the saying goes.

Most of all: I believe in true love without being over-the-top about it, or reading romance novels to keep myself entertained on a Friday night. My outward expressions (the flat affect typical of many Aspies) may betray this fact. Another saying I’ve always liked is the one about still waters running deep. I feel that if a guy could just break through my outer layer, what I often call my “white paper” trick, he might discover that there’s someone who not only wants to be loved, but to give a great deal of love.

And as it is said in The Princess Bride…no nobler cause exists than that of true love. So there’s at least a chance, even for Aspies.

True love!

Got comments? Know a geek guy who happens to be single (just kidding…) Email me at WikusandMurdock@yahoo.com!

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~ by Howlin' Mad Heather on November 10, 2010.

2 Responses to “When Wikus Met Tania: My Quest for a Geek Guy”

  1. So sweet. I understand what you’re talking about. Yes, I myself want the ideal husband with 2.4 kids and a dog (or however else that statistic goes) but I don’t want the Photoshopped magazine life, as you so nicely put it. I think about crap like this all the time, haha. And you really put it in a nice way- like what you said about someone making a movie prop or writing a short story.
    That’s my idea of a nice guy. πŸ™‚
    Now, The Sweetie Man is perhaps a story for another time lol. πŸ˜€

  2. *thumbs up woman!*

    I too – as one heck of a literal aspie – have no desire to live the “Cosmo/Redbook” lifestyle… the clothes, the makeup, the purses, the jewelry/flowers/high maintenance/yadda.

    “There can be only one.” And you’ll find ’em chicha! That, I have no doubt.

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