On Being a (Semi-) Professional Geek

You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders – The most famous of which is “never get involved in a land war in Asia” – but only slightly less well-known is this: “Never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line”!

~Vizzini, “The Princess Bride”

One of these men is a complete putz, the other is a pirate

Know what I really hate? Being outsmarted, outwitted, or being told something I didn’t already know. That’s normal for most geeks. When we find someone geekier than ourselves, bad things can happen. Take today for example. I’m selling an old magazine for two bucks on eBay. Two bucks. Not two thousand. Someone harangues me for inaccurately describing its condition and sends me three whole pages about detailed comic and magazine grading standards. Don’t butter my buns and call me a biscuit, for Cthulhu’s sake. It’s two bucks. Get over it.

Which brings me to the many levels of geekiness. I myself am one of those geeks of all trades, specializing in no geekdom but relatively fluent in several. Ask me about astronomy or ancient history or Star Wars and I’ll be able to hold my own. On the other hand, other traditionally geeky realms (comics, music, engineering) remain as enigmatic and distant as the twin suns of Tatooine. I’m just not interested as much and thus know relatively little. Geeks, as it turns out, are much like everyone else in that way.

No geeks here...beam me up

There is that lovely notion of the Renaissance man or woman (think Benjamin Franklin, Nikola Tesla, or Leonardo da Vinci). The one whose knowledge in twelve different subjects is dizzying. I think our culture expects most self-proclaimed geeks to be something of that sort. I’ve met geeks who could take apart a Macbook blindfolded but who know little to nothing about anything non-electronic. Ditto for those music geeks who couldn’t change a flat tire if their life depended on it. Specialization in one area of geekdom is common. On the other hand, I’d much rather have expertise in a number of fields than mastery in just one.

Why did that haughty eBayer upset me so much? Was it that he knew so much more than I did in some esoteric field? Or that he felt compelled to rub it in my face? Maybe both. There have been many times when I’ve been in the presence of those much geekier (and certainly, smarter) than myself. My usual reaction was to try and glean something useful or interesting from the conversation. If it turned out to be something beyond my sphere of interests, slyly changing the subject was always an option too. Anything related to computer programming or advanced mathematics would otherwise put me in a deep sleep.

Cosplaying...it's a geek way of life

I’m quite happy being a self-described, semi-professional geek. Chances are I can work out most common computer glitches, calculate my geographic position using only the stars, differentiate ancient Norse runes, or recite the periodic table in a pinch. I might also be able to retell Greek myths or list the star systems of the Old Republic without breaking a sweat. There’s things I’m good at and things that I’ll never be able to master.

As for the snotty eBayer, well, they’ll just have to reckon with my dazzling intellect and/or mastery of the Jedi mind trick. Just don’t tell him about my lack of immunity to iocane powder. But then, no geek is ever perfect.

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~ by Howlin' Mad Heather on September 21, 2011.