Talkin’ Smack, P&Q Style

Very well, I accept. A man may fight for many things: his country, his principles, his friends, the glistening tear on the cheek of a golden child. But personally I’d mud wrestle my own mother for a ton of cash, an amusing clock, and a sack of French porn. You’re on.

~from “Blackadder the Third”

I am your father…no, wait, that’s not right…

In everyone’s life there are certain levels of tolerance. Mine, well, let’s just say those levels got pushed a bit today. Anybody who’s ever worked in retail or customer service has had one of those days. We can hem and haw and mutter all we like, but if we want to keep our jobs, we grudgingly have to admit that the customer is right.

This is much easier for me than it used to be. In days past I might have yelled right back, fought fire with fire, embraced my inner B.A. Baracus or Tasmanian Devil. Not so much anymore. Now that I’m older (and I hope, a little wiser), I can let most of the garden-variety hostility go. In a year in my present position I’ve dealt with passive-aggressives, manipulators, drunks, and folks I’m sure have fallen off some wagon or another. They might get mad but I don’t. I keep the moral high ground and shrug it off.

You don't wanna make him angry

But that isn’t the point of this post. I’m not Yoda or the Dalai Lama or some Quaker who stays peaceful all the time. No, I get as pissed and vexed and infuriated as the next Average Citizen. I usually disguise it a lot better. Today I had one of those rare customers who truly made me shift into Incredible Hulk mode. Thankfully it was only a phone call, or I might have morphed right then and there and throttled him right in front of everyone. Could have been just a bad day on my part. Hell, it could have been that time of the month. I got angrier than I have been in a long time.
Let me just say to this particular jackwagon: I’m really only being civil to you because I get paid to do so. Were it up to me, and assuming it were legal, I’d invite you to step outside with me and see how long you lasted. The old saying goes that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. In my case it’s a 6-foot Amazon whom you’ve just pissed off. Think about that next time you try and use hostility to get what you want.

Xena is not PMSing...really

That’s not to say I want to go mano-a-mano with everyone who makes me mad. Or smash a folding chair over their heads. It might be sort of fun, though. I guess what I’m trying to say is that everyone, even the most peaceful among us, needs a healthy outlet for aggression. Mine is usually physical activity or being outdoors. Once in a while, like tonight, it’s writing that unleashes my inner badass. I hope my readers don’t mind, or worse, think I’m turning into some mindless WWF-style drivel. Just had to get it out.
As for Mr. Jackwagon: Bring it on, my friend. You know where you can find me.

P&QMania's gonna run wild!

Enjoyed this post? Be sure to click “Like” and subscribe to P&Q so you’ll always get your daily fix of pop culture insanity. Not to mention Hulkamania.


~ by Howlin' Mad Heather on October 18, 2011.

3 Responses to “Talkin’ Smack, P&Q Style”

  1. “Jackwagon” is my new favourite word…

  2. Umm, did I tick you off by mentioning that I despised Cmdr. Riker? Just checking.

  3. No apology necessary! I usually don’t go off either. The other day though I had a lady talk to me like I was a 16yo snotty kid, and I nearly lost it. I kept my cool though, but it’s been a long time since I’ve felt like that lol. Nice post!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


abandonen toda esperanza aquellos que entren aqui


You - philosophical, thoughtful, witty. Me - still thinks fart jokes are funny. We should DEFINITELY get together!

her name was cassandra

and she was a shining star

Sound Bytes Blog

Can you hear that?...It's baseball.

The Phil Factor

Where Sarcasm Gets Drunk and Lets Its Hair Down

Half Baked Log

Unsocial Media

La Perspective Parisienne

Insight From an American Student Taking on Paris

The Other Side

...the ramblings of an Aussie Pagan Aspie Housewife

Library Lost & Found

library leaders dropping knowledge


To be or not to be...married.

The Wish Factor

How did I get here...


Just another weblog

Elements of Madness

Cinematic Reviews, Recommendations, and More

Baseball For Dinner


Reel Girl

Imagining gender equality in the fantasy world

Five degrees of Tophat

Sarcastic writer. Former journalist. Terrible artist.

Ranting with Ranty

A Rant of Pure Rantiness

%d bloggers like this: