Keep the Change, Ya Filthy Animal!

“Snakes?”…I don’t know no “Snakes.” ~from “Home Alone”


Today’s post was going to be about something thoughtful, like how much I wish I could spend one more Christmas with my late grandfather, or what I’d buy for my friends if I hypothetically had the money. Instead, I’m descending into downright silliness again with a trip down Memory Lane. Specifically: back when I was a precocious 11-year-old and Mom took me to see Home Alone at our local theatre with only one screen(!)

Everybody probably wishes they could revisit childhood at least for a day. Me? I’d spend a good month, at least. I didn’t have the big, obnoxious family like Kevin did, but I did have his tendency to be slightly antisocial and say the wrong things at the wrong times. More importantly I also had his propensity for making clever booby traps. Just ask my dad after the Closet Incident. Home Alone didn’t inspire me to become the next MacGyver defending my house against marauding bad guys. It just encouraged me at an impressionable age.

Ah, the days when kids had guns in movies

My favorite bit had to be the fake gangster flick (for the record, the title was Angels with Filthy Souls) Kevin uses to fake out both a naive pizza delivery guy and Daniel Stern. I don’t know why to this day, but I watched “Johnny” pull out that tommy gun hundreds of times in my youth. I even borrowed our family’s video camera to film my own version of the faux film, casting myself as a female Johnny and an impressionable neighbor kid as “Snakes.” No, I didn’t really shoot him. Wish fulfillment? Maybe. I think it was just my tendency to act out weird random scenes from movies I liked (another time found me impersonating Rodney Dangerfield in Caddyshack, much to Mom and Dad’s chagrin.)
The real reason I still enjoy Home Alone every single Christmas is simple. It’s a microcosm for my life. Sure, I’ll talk about how much families suck and how I wish I were literally the last woman in the world, but when Christmas rolls around, I do want my family around. No matter how drunk or argumentative or stingy they get, they’re still my family. I love them all. It’s a hard lesson to learn and one that took me many years.

Somewhere in this scene is a perv!

And yeah, Home Alone also fits my Magic Movie Formula too: plenty of Shit Blowing Up, funny, hammy villains, lots of Road Runner/Tom and Jerry mayhem where nobody really gets hurt, and a memorable catch phrase. Hell, even John Candy is in it. I’m surprised Kevin didn’t just call the A-Team to help him defend his house from burglars. Not that he would have needed it…some of those traps were ingenious. I even tried rigging a few of them myself. (What? I never used them.)
So I’m sticking to tradition this year and taking another stroll down Lincoln Boulevard and the magic of my own memories. My family hasn’t disappeared…yet…but there’s still time. If they do, I’m so jumping on their bed, eating junk and watching rubbish. Even if I’m definitely old enough to be home alone.
Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal! And a happy New Year!
Enjoyed this post? Be sure to click “Like” and subscribe to P&Q, ya filthy animal!

~ by Howlin' Mad Heather on December 21, 2011.

13 Responses to “Keep the Change, Ya Filthy Animal!”

  1. There are so many classic scenes in the movie–I just love all the people falling down. HA! Is always funny. Just like in WIPEOUT.

  2. LOL before I read your blog, I told hubby, “For some strange reason, I want to watch Home Alone. Haven’t seen it in years, but all of a sudden…” 😛 Guess I know why now.

  3. I liked the first Home Alone more than the sequels. My favorite holiday film though is The Ref.

  4. Gonna go download Home Alone now. It’s a classic!

  5. I adore “Home Alone”. I remember going to see “Home Alone 2” at the cinema when I was about 5. I might watch it today. I remember it being on TV the other day and the scene where Kevin shouts down to Hank and Marv “I’m up here you moron, better come and catch me” (that might be wrong, it’s 6:15am my quoting skills are likely to be suspect!) anyway that line I remember thinking “Huh, Hannibal Smith school of insults much?” XD
    That’s so cool you re-enacted stuff. I think the only thing I re-enacted in my youth was The Lion King and Annie LOL.

    Great post as always!

  6. LOVE Home Alone. Saw it in the theaters twice I believe. Acey and Snakes and Kevin always make me laugh.

  7. Haha, great post HMH. This movie really defined a generation. I don’t know why, but I always had a soft spot for Home Alone 3, though it wasn’t nearly as original as the first!

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abandonen toda esperanza aquellos que entren aqui


You - philosophical, thoughtful, witty. Me - still thinks fart jokes are funny. We should DEFINITELY get together!

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