Top 10: Goofy-Looking Guys Who’ve Made It

We don’t know too much about Eli Manning, other than the fact that he’s the goofy brother of already-goofy Peyton Manning. ~Just a Guy Thing Blog

There's a goofy-looking guy...

As with dark chocolate, ABBA’s greatest hits and Godzilla movies, I have a huge soft spot for goofy-looking guys. It could be the fact that I’m pretty goofy-looking myself, or that I find the goofy ones to be more engaging than the pretty ones (see under Murdock v. Peck). Way back when I watched Ferris Bueller’s Day Off for the first time, and realized I was more attracted to Cameron than Ferris? My propensity for goofiness was revealed.

Of course, there are professions in which being goofy-looking either helps (comedian, Nickelodeon children’s show host), doesn’t hurt one bit (radio deejay, cartoon voiceover artist) or is practically required (Bill Gates). I’m not talking about those guys. What I’m going for here is the realms where goofy is a rarity and good looks are everything. You know, Hollywood, Madison Avenue, South Beach, the Super Bowl. Those sorts of places. Coming up on Valentine’s Day, that most superficial and commercialized of holidays, I felt the need to spread the love for all of us who are less than picture-perfect. Goofy’s getting some love around here today. I give you:

#10: Jon Heder

With a goofy face like that, it’s no wonder the Napoleon Dynamite breakout star is in real danger of becoming a one-hit wonder. But he’s already a cult hero and is now voicing his signature role…in the spinoff animated series. I’m happy for him but somehow I see him cranking out autographs at Comic Con instead of acting in the next 20 years.

#9. Steven Tyler

We’ve all heard about the Aerosmith frontman’s roller-coaster life, the sex, the drugs, the parties, the rehab. He’s the epitome of a rock star and is now judging American Idol. But that still doesn’t mean he doesn’t look like the result of a fight between a tranny and a thoroughbred horse. Dude Looks Like a Lady ain’t just a song title, ya know.

#8. Troy Polamalu

I’m gonna draw some serious hate from all the Steeler fans here. I really do like Mr. Polamalu…he seems like a decent, stand-up guy, he plays the game the way it should be played, and his commercials are hilarious. But that doesn’t mean I still can’t think he and his floofy hair aren’t goofy-looking.

#7. Terry Bradshaw

I swear I’m not singling out the Steel City here, but Mr. Bradshaw, despite a Hall of Fame career and a second wind as a broadcaster and actor, is pretty damn goofy-looking. I cracked up at his rendition of “Yesterday” a few Super Bowls ago and I enjoyed his role in the swan song of Brisco County Jr. Oh, come on, surely you remember that one?

#5: Steve Buscemi

Buscemi might actually be the Patron Saint of Goofy-Looking Guys, but he’s a hell of an actor who’s appeared in many of my favorite quirky movies (Fargo, The Big Lebowski, even Monsters, Inc.). I always think of him as Nic Cage’s slightly maladjusted cousin. I’ll be honest: if I met him in a dark alley one night, I might be tempted to run.

#4. Randy Johnson

Any casual baseball fan will know Johnson as the pitcher who threw one of 19 perfect games in league history, had multiple no-hitters, and won several Cy Youngs, not to mention once vaporizing a dove with a fastball. That’s not to say he still doesn’t look like a drowned wharf rat who happens to be 6’10” and wear a mullet.

#3. Rowan Atkinson

 I’d argue that Atkinson might be my next-favorite talent after the similarly goofy-looking Bill Murray (Atkinson himself once recalled being called “Moon Man” in his younger days). It’s a good thing he’s British rather than American or he might never have made it.

#2. Peyton and Eli Manning

I’ll be the first to admit I don’t particularly like either of the NFL’s Mannings (as a Chargers fan, I’m sort of obligated) but they now own 3 Super Bowl rings between them, as many as pretty-boy rival Tom Brady. If there were ever a Pro Bowl in which goofy looks were one component of the ballot, you can bet these two would make it every single year.

#1: David Spade

Seriously…I can’t look at Spade without laughing my head off. I can’t even hear that famously whiny voice without laughing. I’m such a bad human being.

Pick me...I'm goofy but pretty lekker snakks

Who’s your pick for the goofiest-looking male celebrity? Who’s the one you’re crushing on? Curious minds want to know!

As always, if you enjoyed this post, be sure to click “Like,” subscribe to P&Q and add us to your blogroll. Otherwise I’ll have to send my goofy-looking minions after you…mwahahahaha!

~ by Howlin' Mad Heather on February 12, 2012.