Rise of the Planet of the Prawns
I am not a shrimp. I am a King Prawn! ~Pepe the King Prawn
"They geeves us prawns a bad name! Ay caramba!"
I’ve had a few readers ask me why I chose the name I did for my blog. It seemed like a good idea at the time: a nice pun, an allusion to writing and medieval history, and a reference to District 9, at the time my favorite film. For anybody who hasn’t seen it, it heavily features extraterrestrials nicknamed “prawns” by the good citizens of South Africa. It was later suggested that the nickname came from the ubiquitous Parktown prawns in and around Johannesburg.
What it turns out I didn’t know, and perhaps just because I’m such an oddball not interested in such things, is that “pron” or “pr0n” is one of the masking tools used by those searching for online porn. Other people use the internet for looking at porn. Me? I’m more interested in using the internet for, say, blogging. Or ebaying. Hell, even paying my phone bill. Basically, anything but watching other people get it on.
"Caught in a bad romance"
Now, before anybody objects and says that this isn’t exactly a squeaky-clean, rated G blog, I agree. That’s not what I’m really going for here. My target demographic isn’t the 7-13 group. The people who regularly read P&Q are intelligent, thoughtful adults who are more than capable of understanding a little R-rated humor.
That being said, I’m a little chagrined that so many porn-seekers wind up here through search engines. I guess what they say is true: there’s no such thing as bad publicity. I’m pleased to share with my readers some of the more bizarre spambot terms that brought people to the friendly confines of P&Q. And no, I didn’t make any of these up. Pictures are from the wonderfully creative people at wikus.co.za.
“District 9 Alien Pr0n”
You know what they say about Rule 34…
“How to cook prawns on a stick”
Better on a stick than Prawn on the Barbie, mate.
“Prawn Accident Area Signs”
Because if the prawns slip and fall…that means trouble.
“Prawn Wearing Pink Dress”
He looks fabulous in this year’s spring collection, doesn’t he?
“Two Prawns Having Sex”
Even prawns have their urges, ya know.
“Prawn Facepalm”
Facepalms speak for themselves, especially prawn facepalms.
“Best Free Pr0n Sites”
I think we better ask Wikus about that one.
Anybody else had any weird search engine terms, pr0n or otherwise? I’d love to hear about ’em! Special shout out today for Dirk Benedict (The A-Team, Battlestar Galactica) who is a handsome 67 years old.
More cool stuff coming soon, including the results of “33 Films, 33 Years” and Your Burning Questions answered!
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Prawn And Quartered 
this made me laugh out loud, the “prawn and prejudice,” and “facepalms speak for themselves, especially prawn face palms.” haha! great post.
I had a funny search term today: beautiful vomit.
ew!
Most of my search terms involve under the sea, running, doing the pee pee dance, or “how to be a meth dealer.”
Eich. Don’t wanna know. 😉
I just get a lot of people looking for “mouth” — don’t ask me why? My favorite search term: “I have Aspergers and I don’t know what to write in a birthday card.” Funny, in that ironic way… because I don’t know what to write in a birthday card, either. Everyday about 15 – 20 “mouth” and “13.” I thought I should write a blog combining both, to satisfy the weary internet searchers. Thanks for a funny post. Always nice to have a little adult humor.
My most bizarre search engine terms were “Hitler in 3D” (which I could explain) and “Biblical Prototype of the TARDIS” (which I absolutely couldn’t explain)…
I get “hoda company letter” quite a bit. This sort of makes sense, since one of my blog posts was a letter to the Honda Car Company.
I just got a hit today from someone searching for “dealing with myself images.” Not a clue on that one.
I love search term bingo. Always entertaining. I don’t have many interesting ones, lately.
So funny and, for some of us, educational!