Deep Thoughts Thunk Whilst On Vacation


I shoulda known better than to let that crazy fool plan our vacation. ~B.A. Baracus, “The A-Team”

Relaxation, fresh air and chainsaws...my kind of vacation

Aaand…I’m back from my (all too brief) vacation, P&Q Rangers! While I didn’t get the full week I’d been hoping for, I did get a few days to sit back, relax, write, collect my thoughts, and hone my skills for the Zombie Apocalypse.

I never like to tell anybody where I actually go for two reasons. One is, I like to think of the place as my own private sort of Hyannisport or Camp David. You know, where I can get away from the hoi polloi of the world (I know, how snobbish of me.) The other reason? If the zombies ever do show up, I’ll need a secret lair to stockpile ammo and Twinkies. You know how that goes. Here’s a nice photo of the cabin where I usually stay:

Zombies beware!

Vacation is the perfect time for me to clear my head, and I was sorely overdue, having not traveled since last October. The clear forest air and blue skies gave me the chance to really think. This place is seriously quiet. The only sounds are the rustle of leaves and, occasionally, the bellow of bears (yes, there are bears here.) On my six-mile hike around the lake and river causeway, I got in touch with my inner Zen philosopher. Here’s just a few of the things she managed to dredge from my subconscious:

* In The Hangover, how did the guys manage to do all that crazy shit whilst under the influence of roofies? Isn’t the point of roofies to knock people out?

* Why didn’t I go to school to become a forest ranger instead of wasting my time with an English degree? Rangers may only have slightly better salaries but their hats are much cooler.

* If I’m in Pickett County, what am I supposed to pick?

Immature and puerile you are, Padawan

* If I were actually entrenched against zombies, how long would I last?

* Why is there nobody I want to vote for for president this year?

* Do bears approve of those stupid TP commercials? And why bears in the first place?

* Why is Bradley Cooper considered so sexy when he’s just a retread of Matthew McConnaughey?

I am so much better looking than you, dude

* How come non-American actors usually can’t do an American accent well, but often the converse is true?

* Speaking of Converse, would white-on-black Chuck Taylors be considered the converse of Converse?

* Is it disturbing that I imagine my favorite actors doing audio commentary in my head? Or is that just mild schizophrenia?

* If I notice a group of rabbits moving away from me, is that a receding hare line?

* Even if I don’t get to know the meaning of life, why can’t I ever get a decent Chinese cookie fortune instead of some lame advice these days (“Overindulgence leads to ruin…” yeah, no shit, Sherlock)

By the way…anybody who has answers, even off-the-wall answers, is welcome to take a shot here. I’m about all thunk out. (If you do, I’ll think of something to give you. I promise.)

Also: congrats to Phosangadi, whose answers to 11 Questions made me seriously LOL. Feel free to contact me so you can get your prize.

Don’t forget: still a few days left to nominate your favorite cheesy movie for Guilty Pleasures! I know this one’s gonna be a hoot, so don’t delay.

Hitchhikin' home

What are some of your favorite vacation spots/memories? What do you do to chill out on vacation? I’d love to hear it!

Be sure to click “Like” if you enjoyed this randomness so the site mascot won’t go more insane than he already is!

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~ by Howlin' Mad Heather on April 11, 2012.

18 Responses to “Deep Thoughts Thunk Whilst On Vacation”

  1. Your questions about life were seriously hilarious!
    One year our family rented a house in the Outer Banks. It came with these ridiculous bikes and we had more fun tooling around with them.

  2. Receding hare line… bwaahahaha. Also, your zombie withstanding ratio would probably be entirely dependent on your access to fresh water. They’re fairly easy to withstand… dehydration, not so much!

  3. Sounds like my mind. 🙂 Hope you enjoyed your vacation. We’re going to Maui in May!

  4. Even if I had the answers, I wouldn’t share them, because they’d make your head explode.
    Like mine just idi.
    Crap.

  5. * How come non-American actors usually can’t do an American accent well, but often the converse is true?

    I think this just might be a matter of perception… here in the UK we often find American actors just don’t quite sound right when they try our accents. Some are worse than others. I’d guess than when you are truly familiar with an accent then a fake will ring a false note, but if it’s only a passing acquaintance then the fake will seem more plausible.

    * If I notice a group of rabbits moving away from me, is that a receding hare line?

    Yes. But only if they are in a row 😀

    • That’s a good point about the accents. I’ve practiced and practiced my British RP but I’m sure it would ring false to a native Brit.
      The rabbits were in a row…scary, that.

  6. And here I thought I was the only one with completely random stuff zipping around in my head.

  7. Hmmm…… Why do my cats think that they are dogs and my dog think he’s a cat?
    Why do we still pay for big bags of chips if we KNOW that they’re going to have the same amount of chips in them as the ones a size smaller?

  8. You’re not supposed to pick anything in Pickett county, you’re supposed to picket – now go make a sign and find something to bitch about. Play your cards right, and you’ll get on the news.

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