MORE of Your Burning Questions…Answered!
If somebody thinks they’re a hedgehog, presumably you just give ’em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves. ~Douglas Adams
Remember a while ago when I did a post called Your Burning Questions, Answered? Well, because there are so many questions in need of answers out there, I’ve decided to do a sequel. With a twist.
Because I’ve been so hard at work on my book as of late (hey, stop laughing…I really have), P&Q has been on the back burner. I’ve decided to let the site mascot help out a little bit here and answer some of the questions my readers present.
Here’s how it works: submit as may questions between now and June 21 as you like in the comments section. Mr. Murdock will answer as many as he can, and the one which I deem best will also receive a letter along with a $5 gift card from the retailer of his/her choice.
No question is out of bounds, whether it’s Will the Justice League film be as good as The Avengers, or What numbers look good for Saturday’s Powerball, or Does that cute guy/girl at the coffee shop even acknowledge my pitiful existence? Here at P&Q we aim to please! Give us your questions, because we’ve got answers!
(Also, be sure to vote in Who’s Your Hero? for a chance to win some more prizes.)
Prawn And Quartered 
How do I become a faster runner?
Y’know, it helps to pretend that zombies, the military police, aliens, or wild baboons are chasing you. That’s what I always do. Or you might try drinking pickle juice. It seems to work. ~Murdock
Is there a sure-fire method of sowing discontent among various species of squirrels? I believe the rodents in my yard have made a pact to work together. I’d rather not resort to a 2nd Amendment solution.
Murdock: I love the little furry guys as much as anybody. But when they get to building little furry armies, M-80s work like a dandy. Provided they’re legal in your state. If not, might I suggest a big tomcat from your local shelter? For some reason cats and squirrels never get along.
Fun series! Now to choose a question… *pauses to sort through endless brain files* Got one! How come there’s no female equivalent of HOOTERS restaurant? No WEENIES, SHWEATY BALLS or DINGALING cafes?
Murdock: That’s a head-scratcher (or a crotch-scratcher as the case may be). My guess is that guys are much more visual so it’s easier to sell chicken wings and beer with scantily clad members of the opposite sex. If I were gonna open a place where half-naked guys could serve women, I might call it GameCocks, but I think the folks in South Carolina beat me to it.
ROFL @August.
Three weary travelers stop by an inn one night, looking for lodging. They ask the innkeeper for a room to share. The innkeeper charges them $30 for the room. Each man contributes $10.
Then men make their way to their single room, and the innkeeper chuckles because he’s made money off the imbeciles, the room was supposed to be $25 dollars.
Well, the innkeep’s wife discovered his deceit, and forced her wicked husband to return the $5 dollars he stole. The innkeeper, as well as being a crook, was also bad with math, and didn’t know how he could split the five dollars three ways.
So the wicked, greedy man, slipped $2 into his pocket and knocked on the men’s room. He proudly told them that they received the group rate and the cost of the room was only $9 per person. He hands them each a dollar refund and walks away, happy that he’s made them happy, and happy that he’s made his wife happy, and happy that he’s made himself happy.
Except, there was just one little thing.
Each man ended up paying $9 for their share – for a total of $27.
He had $2 in his pocket.
That’s $29… There is a dollar missing. Where did that missing dollar go?
I still can’t figure this riddle out… and it involves MATH (just shoot me now)
Murdock: It’s easy. The hotel was in Europe and it all boils down to the euro/dollar exchange rate. That changes all the time. Either that or one of those nice guys left it as a tip for the cleaning lady.