Let the Games Begin!: Round 1, Day 3


With Round 1 in the books, Round 2 looked to be just as much of a smackdown. Let’s join our host, H.M. Templesmith, LIVE from the arena at the first annual Fictional Character Hunger Games to see who came out on top!

“I’m sitting here at the Olympics with the Swedish Olympic women’s…eh? What’s that, you say? We’re live at the Hunger Games? Oh, right. Sorry about that, ladies and gentlement.

“We were all eager to see the results when a big brain met another big brain in Round 2 as everyone’s favorite supergenius, Stephen Hawking, took on everyone’s favorite Time Lord, Doctor Who. Honestly I hoped it would be a tie, because you know how much I love these smart fellas. And it’s also a shame because their sponsors, 1PointPerspective and Matthew Hyde, are two favorites here in the Capitol.

“In the end only one genius could prevail. By a single vote, The Doctor moves on to the semis! These Games are tight, folks! Just about as tight as a clamshell bra on a mermaid! And it’s gonna keep getting better. We have two more first-round matchups to go before the Final Four begins.

“Let’s take a look at our next tributes. This time we feature a battle of the Single Named Characters. It’s gonna be a fight to the death for sure.

“Because it’s the weekend and the Olympics are still going on (right, ladies?), voting for this round will last until noon CST on Tuesday, August 14th. Don’t forget to vote for your character and spread the word, because one lucky Games viewer who comments will also share in the glory with the winning tribute!

“And speaking of tributes, let’s meet them now! May the odds be ever in your favor. Until next time, this is H.M. Templesmith…good night and good luck!”

Steerpike (The Gormenghast Series) , sponsored by The Heretic:

“Steerpike, the young man who escaped from working the hellish kitchens of Swelter by use of cunning that gives evidence of a very sharp and quick wit, and receiving work assisting the royal physician. Having made a king go mad by manipulating his own twin sister’s to burn down his precious library, slowly poisoning a wet nurse over the span of a few years until she dies, as well as many other schemes he has concocted from his clever mind.

Through very calculating measures he each contestant would have either killed one another from clawing each other’s eyes, poisoned to death through their food or drink, or going completely mad making them easy targets to pick off when they are completely unaware of him. He would convince you to eat your own hat without you ever knowing that he poisoned it. If there were ever a question of him having a conscience he would have scraped through his ribcage to tear it out and toss it aside, not caring that it would wither and die.

A young man so cold and calculating that even a lawyer, con artist, or politician would shutter at the very thought of having him as a friend.”

River (Firefly), sponsored by Piper Bayard:

“River has everything going for her. Weapons training, for one thing. She can even take out her enemies with one shot while blindfolded.

She has psychic powers of perception, the ability to climb, hide, and kick ass, and the gift of appearing beautiful, helpless, and vulnerable so that her enemies can be lured in if she chooses. More than all of that, she has heart. When her people need her, she steps up to the challenge and kills an entire army of Reavers without so much as ruffling her long, silky locks.

Sure, she’s crazy, but what great person isn’t? That is a gift, too, allowing her to understand her enemies and what it takes to defeat them. She sees through people with a mind that can and does go anywhere.

No power in the Verse can stop her!”

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~ by Howlin' Mad Heather on August 11, 2012.

7 Responses to “Let the Games Begin!: Round 1, Day 3”

  1. River can always kill him with her mind.

  2. This is a tough one. Honestly, I think River has the advantage in pretty much every way. She’s resourceful, she’s deadly, she’s smart, and she has the “helpless little girl” thing down pat. The trouble is, in The Hunger Games, one of her greatests assets will be her weakness.

    River has heart — she cares about people. She wants to do the right thing.

    Steerpike, on the other hand, has no qualms about killing sweet, innocent people and has no conscience.

    So in this case, much as it pains me, I must place my money on Steerpike. He’s not going to be moved by River’s sweetness, and would be willing to sacrifice other people to draw her into a trap.

  3. I need to get cable. Hahaha! I don’t know either of these characters, so I went by the profiles….

  4. Hi Heather! I sent you an email with my hero description! Thanks!

  5. Go River! Glad I got back into town to see this. Thanks for putting this together, Heather. 🙂

  6. River hands down. Ecspecially when something is threatening her family or friends, that girl can really throw down! Go River!

  7. […] special thanks to Alex, Howlin’ Mad Heather, and Eden for entering. May the odds be ever in your favor. Next […]

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