A Tale Told By an Idiot (Me)

“My needs are simple and few, thought Valentine. Food. Clothing. A comfortable place to sleep. And no idiots. But of course a world with no idiots would be lonely. If she herself were even allowed there.” ~Orson Scott Card

I feel like a complete idiot today.

It was the case of a big “D’oh!”, a plan that didn’t come together, of months of careful planning flushed down the crapper. The kind of night that feels as if a piano of preposterous proportions has been dropped upon my soul. In short, I made a simple mistake with unintended consequences.

I’m a bloody idiot and I’m freely admitting it for all my readers.

It isn’t a feeling I enjoy. Normally I relish being measured, controlled, wise, rational and prudent. One of my great flaws, in fact, is my tendency to look out at the vast majority of humanity (or at least the types who end up on People of Wal-Mart) and ask, “How the hell can they be so idiotic?” Yes, I’ll be the first to admit that my hubris often gets the better of me.

Which is why, in some way, I feel grateful for my colossal boo-boo. It reminds me that I am fallible and that I make mistakes like everyone does. For a perfectionist like me that’s the hardest thing in the world to admit. As an Aspie, who sees things in such stark shades of black and white, it’s even harder.

So I look back on my life and realize one thing: though I haven’t made any really glaring mistakes like a quickie Vegas wedding or a tattoo of Tweety Bird on my butt, I’ve erred more than a few times. And I’ll freely admit them for my readers. Consider it, if you will, a sort of Confession for Idiocy.

* My freshman year in college when I thought it was a Really Good Idea to drive north in a snowstorm with no idea where the hell I was going…and use Mom and Dad’s “emergency” credit card for an impromptu hotel stay.

* Letting my beauty-school dropout friend give me a “punk” haircut. (Hint: military recruits had more hair than I did at the end.)

* Spending a month’s rent on a posterboard signed by a C-list actor at a convention. I had a huge crush on said actor at the time, and love makes us do stupid things.

* “Investing” several thousand dollars in a water-treatment system for my house. I wouldn’t recommend one of these money-eating clunkers to my worst enemy.

* Thinking sharing a dorm room with my “best buddy” would be a great idea. Never share a room with your friend. You’ll thank me later.

* Not listening to my dad when he gave me the Car Care 101 lecture. Who knew that knowing where the oil went might have prevented my car from exploding on the interstate one day?

* Dating someone twice my age. Yes, I was young. Yes, I didn’t know any better. But it’s a lesson I couldn’t have learned any other way.

How about you, my dear readers? What stupid (or not so stupid) decisions have you made in your life?

Congratulations to Piper Bayard and her Tribute, River, for winning the first annual P&Q Hunger Games! Also want to offer my congratulations to Patrick Thunstrom who won the Viewers’ Prize in a random drawing. I’ll be in touch with you guys very soon with your prize information. Thanks to everyone who participated…it was fun and I may do it again next year. May the odds be ever in your favor!

~ by Howlin' Mad Heather on October 8, 2012.