12 Good Reasons I Haven’t Been Writing, and 1 Kinda Lame One

You know, there are places in this world where fools are worshiped? Like Hollywood, California? ~H.M. Murdock

It’s April Fools’ Day, P&Q Rangers. It’s as good a day as any to break the site mascot out of his carbonite freeze and start writing again. How long has it been, anyway? Two months or so? This place has cobwebs, there were about 12 comments still pending, and no less than 4,278 unsolicited ads for products to enhance my sex life. I have been away, haven’t I?

Instead of continuing my ill-fated autobiography, I felt I needed to apologize to my readers today without any fooling or joking. The only way to get writing done is to, well, sit down and write, which I haven’t done in too long. I’ve pretty much decided to take P&Q back to its normal format of randomness, not to mention semi-regular updates. Which, I gotta admit, worked just fine since its inception.

So, why haven’t I been writing?

#1. I’m convinced everything I write, to one degree or another, completely sucks.

Yeah, I know every writer thinks this. I do too, and I know it’s false. (This is the kinda lame excuse I just now mentioned.)

#2. The weather has played me like a cheap piano this year.

You’ve heard about Seasonal Affective Disorder, right? I seem to have a bad case of it.

#3. I don’t feel as if I have an incentive.

I’m all about competition. In fact, I sometimes do workshops just so I can “compete” in a friendly way with other writers.

#4. Work has left me more exhausted than usual.

With a shorthanded staff and never enough time to do anything, writing goes on the back burner.

#5. I’ve been trying to get back into decent shape.

Not that I wasn’t before…but this is serious, as in, walk a half-marathon serious. It takes lots of time.

#6. I’ve actually been trying to learn something new.

Well, it’s not technically new…I took piano lessons as a child and have decided to take it up again. Playing Led Zeppelin on the piano sure beats plinking out “Three Blind Mice” and “Oh, Susannah.”

#7. I haven’t had much to say.

Really and truly. Writing is cyclic for me. It’s like sunspots, or highwater pants as a fashion statement.

#8. My pet-sitting cottage industry is doing well.

If you are the type of person who can write an intelligent 500-1000 words while being surrounded by all manner of four-legged creatures, you and I need to talk so I can learn your secret(s).

#9. The D-word.

Yes, I have battled depression most of my life. Not the really terrible kind, but the kind that’s the emotional equivalent of a mosquito bite. It’s not going to do me in, but dammit if it isn’t annoying.

#10. And the A-word.

This one (anger) hasn’t reared its ugly head quite as much now that my work keeps me away from the public. But, since I still have to work a desk on weekends, it’s still sticking around like a stubborn, drunk party guest who won’t go home.

#11. ADD…I think?

Because who really cares about writing when there’s Facebook and Angry Birds and People of Wal-Mart and OHWOWTHEREGOESASQUIRREL!

#12. A colossal feeling of inferiority.

This is the hardest thing to admit, but when I see so many other wonderful blogs out there with their talented and cool authors, I feel like a very small fish in a very big pond. (Yes, I know it’s irrational. Yes, I’m enormously grateful for all my readers who choose to spend even a minute or two out of their day here. Thank you.)

#13. Reading.

I work in a library. I like to read. There are never enough hours in the day to read all the books I’d like to. Oh, and Game of Thrones just started its third season, which sorta counts as reading because it’s based upon a series of books.

What about you? Are you writing more or less than you’d like? By the way, in honor of April Fools’ Day, the site mascot has promised to give a free rubber chicken to everyone who stops by today.

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~ by Howlin' Mad Heather on April 1, 2013.