Since It’s My Birthday, And You Asked…

There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents, and only one for birthday presents, you know.

~Lewis Carroll

death cake

My birthday just snuck up on me out of nowhere this year, like the season finale of Game of Thrones, the 90-degree heat and my incompetent cell phone carrier’s text messages. In any case it’s on top of me. And, since the site mascot asked me to take a few well-needed days off to, you know, actually write, I realized I needed to address the issue beforehand.


I’m at that age when birthdays are less of a celebration and more of an excuse to shamelessly hit up family members for practicalities I otherwise couldn’t afford. I’m asking for gas cards and teeth whitening kits. Sheesh. Before long it’ll be discounts to 5:00 buffets at Golden Corral and those little walkers with tennis balls on them. I’m getting older, but I’m not a geezer. Not yet, anyway.

When I was a kid, birthdays, along with Christmases, were an excuse to cook up wild fantasies. Remember the endless Calvin and Hobbes strips where the little guy asked for a thermo-nuclear missile launcher and a private continent? That was me, though my wanton desires were a little less militaristic. I wanted a horse, a trip to Thailand to ride elephants, ninjitsu lessons. I never got any of it.

But, now that I’m older, I don’t stop thinking about how much cooler I would be if I were an elephant-riding ninja with her own horse. Let me set aside my practical side for a day, and ask purely hypothetically for these few little trifles. I will have a fund set up on Kickstarter soon should anyone wish to contribute (that’s a joke, I promise.)




vintage warbird flights


Czech Republic Loket Castle_20090615171614

And, of course, no birthday would be complete without:


So, Prost and I’ll drink to another year of good health and (hopefully) some teeth whitening strips.


What were some of the outlandish or weird things you asked for at your birthday or Christmas? Did you ever get any of the items?

~ by Howlin' Mad Heather on June 11, 2013.

5 Responses to “Since It’s My Birthday, And You Asked…”

  1. Happy Birthday!

  2. I wanted a monkey. Ellie May Clampett had one, so why couldn’t I? Joyeux Anniversaire, Heather!

  3. I am going to have to wish you a happy birthday in my own fashion.

    (BTW. If you get a walker do not attach tennis balls that just leads to more problems you do not need, use glider tips. Sorry, I used to work for a few DME companies. Anyways, on to the birthday wish)

  4. Every year my kids ask me what I want for my birthday. My answer is always the same.
    Me: “A clean house and well-behaved children.”
    Kids: “No, Mom. Something we can give you.”

    Happy Birthday, Heather! I hope you got some great memories to go along with those practical things. Thank you for making the Cyberverse a better place with your presence. 🙂

  5. Happy belated Birthday!

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abandonen toda esperanza aquellos que entren aqui


You - philosophical, thoughtful, witty. Me - still thinks fart jokes are funny. We should DEFINITELY get together!

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