How Not To Kill Your Husband

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? ~Groucho Marx


I’m not married and I doubt I’ll ever be married. If I do, I should know what to do thanks to my mom and dad. As of yesterday they’ve been married 40 years. This astonishes me because a) nobody is married 40 flipping years these days, b) when they got married, powder-blue suits with wide lapels were considered cool, and c) they haven’t murdered one another yet.

No, but they have stayed in love and stood by one another through thick and thin for 40 years. Four decades. Nixon was still President of the United States when they got married. Think about that for a second. In an era of disposable marriages and convenient divorces, this is one hell of an accomplishment.

I don’t think it’s always been wine and roses. No marriage is. I’ve been there for a few of the fights and a lot of the heartbreaks. Purely from an observer’s perspective, here’s what I’ve noticed about what it takes to make a marriage last:

* Don’t argue about the stuff not really worth arguing about.

*Never go to bed angry. It isn’t worth it.

*Share the responsibilities equally.

* Accept and embrace your differences.

* Have separate interests and separate friends if you want to.

* Go out to dinner once in a while.

* Say “I love you” on a regular basis…and mean it.

* Handle in-laws the way you would glass.

* Love really is all you need; John Lennon had that right.

Here’s to a lasting love of 40 years. May it stay strong and may no household objects ever be used in anger.


If you’re married, what are your secrets to making love last? If you’re not married, what might you add to the list?

~ by Howlin' Mad Heather on July 8, 2013.

8 Responses to “How Not To Kill Your Husband”

  1. I think you nailed it.

  2. I want to watch Princess Bride now.

    “Mawwiage! Mawwiage is what bwings uhs togethaww today!”

  3. happy anniversary Mom and Dad Howling!

  4. We recently reached six years, somewhat to our surprise πŸ™‚

    Not all husbands are the same – trying to follow advice of not going to bed angry does not work with mine. He gets tired and grumpy and pushing for a resolution just makes matters worse. I have found it is better to let him just go to sleep and he is fine in the morning.

    Accepting each other’s foibles while trying to improve the things which matter to each other. Don’t waste effort trying to change something they don’t actually mind! Love, respect, finding what works for you both rather than what worked in a previous relationship with someone different or what works for other people.

    Not expecting it all to be perfect all the time. Too many give up when the glitter wears off, but comfy old slippers are actually rather nice πŸ™‚

    Always let each other know you appreciate each other.

  5. I think the first secret is understanding that you can love a lot of people, but you marry a life. Your parents sound awesome. πŸ™‚

  6. Correct! Congratulations to your mum and dad.
    As someone getting married in exaaactly…. 17 days… I would have to agree with that list, with the possible addition of *LAUGH, AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE.

  7. The most important thing I do is give my partner a break as much as possible. I try to assume the best of intentions for everything she does – even if it annoys me at the time!

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abandonen toda esperanza aquellos que entren aqui


You - philosophical, thoughtful, witty. Me - still thinks fart jokes are funny. We should DEFINITELY get together!

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