It’s Cold Shower Time!


I would never have any kind of pornographic activity with a fokkin’ creature!

~Wikus, “District 9”

Notice the prawn's face is blurred out

First of all, apologies to my readers for getting slightly off track with my post a day vow for October. What can I say? The weather’s glorious for October, my favorite grandma’s in town, and there’s plenty of football and baseball and rugby on TV. Of course I was bound to get sidetracked.

And then I came across a fellow blogger’s post: http://brainrants.wordpress.com/2011/10/08/freak-ass-blog-spam-search-terms/

Brain Rants is hysterically funny, if you haven’t read it already, but it gave me pause…how DID readers come across P&Q in the first place? I’d always glanced a few times at those search engine and spam terms in the dashboard, but never really looked at it. There were the usual suspects (aspergers, murdock, horses), a few head-scratchers (julius caesar funny, tweety saggy pants) and one that just about made me do a Coke Zero spit-take. Prawn porn. Prawn freakin’ porn. I mean, what is this? Shag Your Shrimp day? What sorta sick bastards?

I kinda get how Google works; any random collection of words which I’ve used in my blog might lead a reader to the site. I also wonder how many of these random searchers and/or spambots ever click on the link. I’ve been averaging just over 100 hits a day, so it has to be at least a few. There have been times, I will admit, where I’ve wanted to tag the post with “Jessica Alba naked” or “Hot sorority girls” just so I’ll get a few more hits. Never mind that the post is about speculative astronomy or Asperger’s in the workplace. It’s like that old marketing gig with the guy in the chicken suit on the street corner. Once you get people to look, the rest is easy.

I cannot look away

I’m still trying to figure out exactly what sort of person would Google “prawn porn.” This sort of character might be usable for next month and NaNoWriMo. Is it some fangirl looking for X-rated District 9 fanfiction? A middle-aged guy living in his mom’s basement who thinks shrimp are really erotic? A Japanese woman looking for some new types of sushi? I have no frackin’ clue. It sounds like some new game show: “Who Googled Me?” They could have the Googler meet the Googlee at the end of the show, Dating Game-style.

Honestly I’m just glad anybody continues to read P&Q, which is the leftover casserole/bouillabaise/jambalaya of blogs. I don’t really stick to any one theme. I’ve discussed everything from ancient Rome to alien invasions to The A-Team here. If there’s one thing I’m proud of, it’s that nothing is too weird for me to feature. Including grown men having (hopefully consensual) sex with giant aliens who look like prawns. Just save me a biltong and I’ll at least take a look.

Special treat to my readers today, after I’ve taken a cold shower: double shot of P&Q to make up for the lapse. Keep your eyes open and your antennae tuned! Bliksem Prawns…

Rule 34 in action

Enjoyed this post? Be sure to click “Like” and subscribe so you’ll never again miss a fokkin’ awesome issue of P&Q!

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~ by Howlin' Mad Heather on October 10, 2011.

10 Responses to “It’s Cold Shower Time!”

  1. I think I first found your site because you reviewed a film. One of my weaknesses, film. The other is ‘hot sorority girls’. Now I feel cheated. Don’t know if I can ever trust you again. But I’ll keep reading. Just in case they show up…

  2. Thanks for the shout out, dude. And I thought I had an odd search term with “goat balls food.”

  3. Thank you for the sexy Wikus pics!!!

  4. I found you from a “geek” tag. πŸ˜› Best search result ever!

  5. I can’t remember how I came across Prawn and Quartered, but I do remember it lead me to a post about Murdock. Which, of course, is awesome.

    (I did a similar exercise to this a while back (http://wp.me/p1tKEc-j9) and the weirdest search term that lead someone to my blog was “Hitler in 3D”…)

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